
Hey my names _____ I`m 17 I don’t know why I’m writing this to you. I don’t even know if I’ll end up sending this but I felt the need to tell you that your song fan mail has really spoken to me. From age 13 till 16 I was addicted to porn. I was so young when I found it I didn’t even know what it was called...but I knew enough to know that it was wrong...I didn’t tell anyone about it till I was over it I stopped all my self it was hard but now that seems like nothing. For almost a year now I’ve been cutting and ever since I started I wanted to stop. But it’s the only way I feel loved now... I have good parent’s good home life. Good friends. I was never raped abused or in any way given an excuse to feel this way... but I do and I really want to want to live. But I don’t. I’m too scared of death to actually kill myself but I sleep with a blade tied agents my wrist so if it cuts me in the middle of the night I won’t panic and try to stop the bleeding. I over dosed on tynole so many times hoping to die in my sleep. I have no reason to want to die and I feel so selfish and stupid for feeling this way but it`s how I`ve felt since 2007. My parents have no clue I haven`t exactly been hiding it... even my little brother has found out I cut. I don`t know why I`m bothering you with this. it`s my problem not yours or any one else’s to care about. I guess I`m not expecting a reply you must get a lot of fan mail I`m just hoping that you`ll see this and pray for me. Even if it`s just a fleeting God help her and move on to the next letter every prayer helps right? I don`t want to die. I just want to be happy again without trying or faking. I`m so tired of always getting thru things on my own. I just feel so broken down I can`t do this anymore. Again I know this is depressing stuff to hear honestly I`m not looking for attention or anything but I am looking for prayer...hopefully one day you`ll come up to Winnipeg and I can thank you for your prayers in person. Thanks for the hope you have in all your songs.
2 comments:
Jesus girl, don't do that! Don't sleep that way!
One day, you'll seriously die, and then you're going to regret it!
yeah I know but i can't regreat it if I'm dead. but I haven't done it for a long time. same with the over doseing.
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