Prayer list.
Praise God for things instead of treating him like a vending machine. Make it a convo. Not a wish list.
I thank God for.
I thank him for giving me Les. I thank him for giving me the family he did. I thank him for my nutty friends. I thank him that I`m alive. I thank him for hope. I thank you for rest. I thank you for hugs. I thank you for cuddleing I thank you for laura I thank you for girl talk. I thank you for my past, my present and future. I thank you for the sunlight. I thank you for crying. I thank you for music. I thank you for church. I thank you for being you a forgiving God. I thank you for me. I thank you for sight sound and touch. I thank you for your letter to me. I thank you for the cross. I thank you for the pain you went thru for me. I thank you for your love. Thank you for emotions. I thank you for tears. I thank you for life. Thank you for honesty.
1. Dallas
2. Jenny
3. Luke
4. Ashlea
5. Jesse .O
6. Jesse. B
7. Zach
8. Campbell’s
9. Jessica
10.Sandra
11.Steph
12.Brothers & sisters
13.Parents
14.Future family.
15.Grace
16.Adam
17.Campers
18.Sunday school kids
19.UGM kids
20.Future LDPS and staff.
21.Kids I babysit.
22.Beth
23.Alex
24.Stephinie green
25.Amie perry
26.John clinch
27.The different youth groups
28.City church
29.Maples
30. Christian and non Christian artists
31.Les
32.April
33.Crissy
34. Laura Joe & baby J
35. Buck Chrissie & jojo & Ryan
36.Mike
37.Lavon
38. Les’s parents
39. Chelsea
40. Sydney
41.Brandy
42. Bekah
Les
My dearist love and the only guy for me forever. There is so much I have to say to you!!!! Were to start? Um well lets see I LOVE YOU. I hope and pray that some day we got married and grew super old and gross together :P right now we’ve been dating a few weeks and I already have so many good memorys with you. Like our first talk in the staff lounge at camp...when you followed me to the lake at youth week to see if I was alright the drives into the city alone J and that you asked my dad permission to date J J J J.... and when I had such a bad day and you took me out. And the time when curfew came around we were drivng down the street as slow as possible so that we had more time together. Or parking in back of the garage to kiss before dropping me off (MOM DAD WATCH OUT FOR WHEN WINONA DATES!!...sorry winona.:P) you saved me from myself and although you can’t see it my confedence grew so much in the past few months. You made me realize I had talents and purpose. Right now the fact that your not with me is killing me...wait no I’m dead already lol ok I know it’s really not funny. This must be hard on you...I know if you died I would have a hard time breathing. Let alone living. I know this is selfish ( I told you I was!!) but I hope I died before you...I couldn’t move on...no matter what I really would have died. I hope you move on and become happy again. Please be happy remember what I wrote on your hands ? a smile because you make me smile so much when you smile I can’t be sad when your around! And the heart that I wrote on your hand when we had sling shot together and continued after....that was when I realized I loved you...before we were even dating....but when you told me you loved me in the park. I was beyond happy. I was elated. I know we both had are hard times and we both had our struggles but you made mine so much easier...I doubt I helped you very much when were making out but yea.... lol your amazing and I have some thing to tell you. If I die before we get married...I have my vows to you...remember that picture you drew for me at camp? The writing underneath is what I have to say to you. Read it but don`t dwell on it I really do want you to get over me. be happy because if your happy then I am. I loved being wrapped in your arms and when you would give me hugs from behind and say my girl in Italian. The fact that I was yours was enough for me. I never needed another gift after that. to know I was yours and you were mine. I could write forever really I could. I really hope that you aren`t angry with God about this. God can still do amazing things in your life. And will I love you but your so stubborn some times really just let God use you! I want you to have my purity ring and my box that has humming birds on it plus the other half of the ring because these were some of my gifts I wanted to give you on our wedding day, along with your sweater. Lol that sweater gave me so much comfort I wore it every day...I loved to sleep in it the most comforting thing to do on a bad day was to talk to you spend a day with you come home read the bible and your notes and wear your sweater. That is a good day to me. to be with you is a good day no matter what's going on. I really want to keep going on this letter but I`m crying now and really should stop.... I love you so much. My hearts breaking just to write this and I don`t even think that I`ll be leaving for a long time! I just wanted to make sure that if some thing happened you know what I want to say. And this isn`t even half of what I want to say I could write forever. I already have I love you so much Les keep walking with God because He`s the only real hope.
Love your girl
Krista.
My dearest Dallas J sept. 11.
You’ve been amazing and wonderful, always there for me...you were the best to counsel with. Never stop growing in God because hopefully you never see this....becouse well that means I’m dead....lol ok ok I know it’s not funny. You see right now I feel like my life might not be much longer with all the sickness and what not I don’t know what's going on. So even though I’m sure I’ll be around for a long long long time. Just in case I never get the guts to say the things I want to tell you. This is my last requests....let things go.... let your anger at your dad at Ashlea or who ever your getting angry at at this moment. It’s reduculus and your letting it get in the way of your walk with God. You can not grow in Christ if you can not forgive other. God was the altamit forgiver. Yes yes I know how can I be preachy even if I’m dead lol I know I know not funny.... but then again why not laugh I’m with my father who’ve I’ve been waiting to meet forever. Remember how excited I was when I was doing that devo on how God has a personal nickname for each one of us, well I got mine now J Love you so much like more then you understand. Please keep growing in Christ. J enjoy life keep living stop working so much gez really dallas get a life! Lol I love you and your young adult years will not be spent at work! Dallas you and I have been through a lot together and apart... I pray you never have hard times like that again....i pray that you will grow in strength with God. That you will be a worrior in His army. And we are in a war never let your guard down we are in a war agenst satan him self so don`t let the sick twisted little well I guess I shouldn`t use laguange even for him but yea kick his butt don`t let the jerk get you down. J
Hey jenni
I could go on and on about you. I could say what every one says that your strong and beautiful and smart, and push past every challenge but what I want to tell you is this. a lesson I at the time I’m writing this message am still learning. And that is to learn to be served. I go so foucus on different kids on helping every were I could telling kids about Gods love for them...but I got so busy with the church that I forgot God!! Make time for Him always you can not give what your not getting so please take time for your self your not super girl you can’t save the world that Gods job. So please learn to slow down. Take time in His word grow learn He has amazing things in store for you but hows He going to use you to teach others if your not Growing ? love you lots jenni and take care of dallas for me tell her to stop working so much! Love you so much J
Hey luke
We actually haven’t talked all that much at this point which is weird because your dating one of my best friends....by the way you hurt her and I’ll hurt you when you get up here! That a promise! You got your self a great girl and I know this is going to sound silly but this summer when dallas was telling me how you started praying together that is when I finally really liked you as dallas’s boyfriend. Make God the center of your life and your relationship. You can have all the blessings of people of the world but with out Gods blessing on your relationship your in for a rocky road. Take good care of each other. Your both amazing and I hope someday you get married.
I KNOW WHAT EVERY ONES THINKING! EVEN WHEN SHE’S DEAD SHE NEVER SHUTS UP! What can I say I’m my daddys girl!
Ashlea
Hey camper! Lol still the best week ever I loved being able to boss you around during youth week. I wish we had more talks. Your awesome I can tell Gods going to do great things in your life I know it. Don’t let what people say get you down. Don’t gaurd your heart to much. It’s special yes and you shouldn’t let any guy or any one really in that doesn’t diserve it. But also don’t let your heart be harded by what people say. Your you not them so they can live there life you live yours follow God with a passion don’t have a comfortable relationship with Him. Have a passionate love affaire with the maker of your world and you. It’s not JUST a friendship it’s so much more then that!
Jesse .O
You helped me thru a lot. Even when we didn’t see each other for years you still took time to care. Which I really apreateate your one of the strongest Christians I know at our age. It’s been amazing getting to know you. I hope you worked at camp a few times. Pray about it. I know you would be challenged there. But it would be a good place to grow. I’m saddened that I won’t be here to see you rock this generation. But I know in full confedence that you will. J you’ve been like a brother to me. thanks for every thing... for keeping me alive.
Jesse B
Hey jesse you were annoying as heck summer 2009 BUT! In 2010 you really changed how I though of you. You grew a lot and I saw you change in your habits and your love of Christ. Seeing you as a one on one was amazing. You were so good. Please do me a favour and continue the growth after all the campers are gone I know it’s hard in the real world and your family doesn’t make it easy for you but there family what can I say they drive you nuts!
Zach
Zach going to school with you was well ok honestly I don’t really remember much of school. But I do remember working at camp with you. And your off to a really amazing start in your walk with God you’ve had your challanges but honestly you’ll face more bigger ones to come the only way we get thru them is with the grace of God. Keep on reading His word and really dig into it not just read it and forget it. But aply it to your life on a daily basise.
Jessica
You are amazing I really love you. We never really had that many serious talks but I hope that changed before I died. Because I know you have a lot to say and so do I. We were best friends growing up every Sunday at church....you with your coffee at 10 gez your were the most out going person I know. I know you care about people a lot and I know you have love for God. Your going to quietly shake this world. I know it.....ok maybe not so quietly...your a pretty loud person at times :P but that what I love about you! Love you lots!
Sandra
Our friendship has been filled with drama some legit some just well yea but I was always there for you no matter what. I care about you more then you could ever imagin your my et my sister and my twin. You mean a lot to me. we’ve had a lot of crying moments and a lot of fun ones. One last thing I have to say to you my e.t. when it’s hard to be real with your self and others, know this. that God is the one person you can’t lie to the I’m fine lie is seen thru and all the fake walls you put up are nothing to God. He see’s you for who you are your real drama your real problems what's really bugging your heart. I remember when I was going thru a lot of crap I told you some of that yea they were all legit stuff that I was going thru but what was the main hurt in my life was I wanted some one to trust and to see thru all the fakeness and still find value in me. and the only person who can do that 100% is God. He knows the real you the legit struggles and the ones we put on. God will be your altumit comfort He wants to hold you in His arms and never let God. He’s your heavenly father who wants to hold his child. You are very loved.
Steph
Gah you drive me crazy most of the time! It’s been an honor to have arguments with you :P no but seriously I enjoyed every discussion we had. I encourage you to grow in Christ I know I know your tired of hearing it. But one last time... you need to make God an all year deal not just the summer. Your awesome and your so under attack if you believe it or not. I know you are. God has big plans for you in your life. LIKE BIG BIG BIG PLANS! Not even kidding! Satans trying to stop you. Don’t let him. Ever get to you. I love you lots. And I hope you find some one who argues with you as much as I do. Or did.... take care of Sandra ok? I know you guys fight a lot but still your sisters. So get over what ever gets in the way.
Johanna
The last year has been the best. Even though it was one of my hardest years of my life. In every way shape and form. The fact that you and I are talking on a regular basis, that we talked about dating and boys and marriage and weddings. Crap now I’m crying. Johanna you have a lot of infulance over this family. I wish I wasn’t such a brat growing up it really messed up our friendship... I know I drove you nuts....I drove every one nuts. Lol but the truth is that I don’t care about the years I wasted because haveing the one or two good talks we’ve had was worth it. I think God has really big plans in your life ( I know I know I said that to a lot of people what can I say God but some movers and shakers in my paths) if you just let go of what you want for what God wants!! It’s hard but so worth it. So one thing I have to ask you is this. don’t let winona grow up to fast. Please I know it’s not your job to take care of winona but she needs a big sister and heaven knows I was a sucky sister most of the time. I really hope I got to see your wedding J I’m sure it was beautiful and way more then you and adam could afford. :P but thats to be expect of you, no offence you always sucked at hadleing money :P I miss you lots and love you. I know I’ve never said that before but I do love you. A lot.
Adam
Hey adam I’m still just getting to know you. At this moment. I’m sure I’ll be alive for a long long time after this letter is written but you never know when your going to die. So this is my way of making sure I get a chance to say...you better take care of my sister or I’ll kill you! Ok well I guess that’s beyond my control right now... Jeremy I hope you do my job for me! lol I’m sure you’ll take good care of my sister. I can tell you really care about her. Take good care of each other...good luck with her...she’ll drive you nuts she’s the most cranky person in the morning and gets weird at night... like really weird... she looks pretty all the time even when she just rolled out of bed... but you need to tell her lots because I’m not there to tell when she asks every 5 seconds if her hair is nice and her cloths are worth the money....oh yea another thing you going to be so broke.... just sayen! Like really really broke! She spends so much money!!!! Lol I love her. So be good to each other. Becoouse as annoying as she is... she’s my big sister and I only got one!
Jeremy & grace
Hey Jeremy your creepy most of the times you smile to much and your always happy! Not fair! Ok ok time to be serious I guess ok well that time we talked in saint luios. Well it meant a lot to me. it really helped. I never told you that. but it did. So you really going to marry grace huh? Well I hope I was there for it I’m sure it was cheesey beyond all means. And amazingly sweet. You guys are so very cute J and I can tell your honouring God which is so cool....even if you do go a little extream...really your not going to kiss her till your married? That nuts! I hope Les kisses me before were married! That’s so long!!! But I really respect you guys for doing things slow. You’ve been an amazing brother. Take care of the rest of the family. And bug them for me. not like I need to tell you to! You bug them any ways! But yea. Grace you’ve been a joy to get to know this past little while, now that I’m dating Les I get why getting to know the family is so special. It’s been a joy to get to know you. And I really hope you and my brother are happy together. And I know my family is over welming at best. But I know that they love you. And I really hope adjusting to us isn’t to hard. J love you both.
William
You by far are the biggest softie ever. I know you knew that I was going thru a hard time and the fact that even though it drove me to insanity you came down to my room every night to just talk and drive me nuts. I know that your way of telling me you loved me. I love you lots William. Like so much! I know you have some things to over come like the Nielsen anger you know what I’m talking about every one in the family has it! But I’m so proud of you and how you’ve been opening up to people. Some thing I have a hard time with. You know have such leadership skills Austin follows your example set a good one ok’? respect mom and dad I know it’s easy to get your way in the house and rule the house. But mom and dad diserve respect because there are parents. And that enough...it’s hard to a lot of the time but I know you can. I hope I lived long enough to see you get married... I know you will some day. Don’t lie you know you want to. I love you lots. Grow in Christ keep up with camp and maybe try mine once? Just sayen.
Winona
Your such a teenager! Ok I had to say it one last time. Winona joy your growing up to fast quit it! Seriously! Enjoy being young you have your whole life to be a grown up. You put to much pressure on your self and how you look. Your so pretty so stop trying to be are you trying to get guys to like you! Gez winona give the poor guys a break! No but seriously winona please don’t make the guys look at you the wrong way. Please please don’t. I really don’t want guy looking at you with lust in there hearts. Ever. You way to pretty for the worlds good. Like really. Your making it hard for guys not to ask you out! Any way enough with the guy talk you know I love you. I know I was a jerk a lot of the times. Like a lot of the time. But I really was trying. I tried so hard. I have a short temper and I’m sorry for all the times I got angry. But you remember when I drove you nuts when we shared a room and rembember how I fought so hard to keep shareing the room with you. It wasn’t the room I wanted It was you I wanted to be a good big sister and be there for you. I wanted to beat up any one who hurt you. I wanted to take your side in every argument even when your wrong. I wanted to be the one you come to for every thing. I know I messed up a lot. I drove you nuts. Most of the time. But I hope you know how much I love you. I really love you. Please keep praying and reading your bible even when it seems boring keep trying. Never give up.
Austin
Hey buddy I know I was really mean to you lots. I’m sorry . like really mean. I’m sorry . so sorry. I know how hard you took every thing I said. And I said a lot that I wish I didn’t. So please forgive me. you have such a soft heart and were a lot alike we hate to see people cry and we always need to help. And I loved watching you always teaching the kids who came over things on the computer or wii or any thing really you have a lot of leadership ability so use it. God gave it to you. Also Austin don’t be scared to try new stuff you should try going to school or some thing. Also keep growing in God I know you have such a loving heart for God and it’s cool really cool to see how Gods going to use you. Love you so much never let what other people say bring you down or hurt you. Or stop you from growing in Christ. Give every thing you go thru to God. He`s the only one who will make you feel better. Some girl is going to be very lucky to have you way way way in the future! Like way in the future Austin do you under stand no flirting with girls inless your going to datethem!! Your going to be such a heart breaker when your older I know it. Sigh can`t wait to see that! love you lots.
Mom and dad
Ok so hopefully you never read my diaries because there really full of hate. Please don’t read them ever could you give them to les? I was going to give them to les when we got marired along with my purity ring the box with humming birds on them...and his sweater he should have that back. Ok back to you mom and dad um... well I don’t have a lot to say right now because were just in the beginning stage of getting along. But hopefully things went like this....we got over our petti problems I stopped being a jerk and you stoped putting work first. Hopefully we actually laughed together... hopefully we had one good convo that wasn’t stressed or forced hopefully I told you that I love you to your face. Hopefully the younger kids realize I was stupid and stopped following my stupid example. You guys were really good parents my fav times was when dad still worked at Indian life and we had the family sleep overs there and every time with out fail we would spill some thing all over the conference room. Dad remember how you used to call me your little sunshine? And then I became your storm cloud... yea that nickname I didn’t like so much. But remember the space movies and the click thing.... I don’t remember a whole lot of click moments but I do remember a few like at KP park near the pond. And in the grocery store looking up at the mirror. We haven’t done any thing together for a long time. I hope you make time for the other kids I liked being alone....they don’t. Mom we drove each other insane! Like seriously Insane! But I love you. I couldn’t get myself to say that for a long time but I do. Thanks for every thing you do for us. You need to learn to relax and have fun with you kids let every thing go and play wii with your kids! Love you mom try and not do a zillion things at once :P
April (to be read in private)
Hey kiddo
I know heaven is subposed to be perfect and it is I’m so happy here I know it. If there was worry in heaven I would worry about you. But I know God has you in sight and will take care of you. I know some of it was a lie that you told me. I knew it was what you needed to tell me to get your pain out so you know what I didn’t mind. Do me a favour find some one to replace me, to tell every thing to BUT! Start fresh and tell them the whole truth. Ok you’ll feel so much better! But I am proud of you so much so much and am proud of you for reading your bible. Make sure you understand what your reading. Your stong and I better not see you up here before your time got it? You have a lot more to learn on earth that way you’ll have so much to tell me when you get up here ok? Love you kiddo. Keep going back to camp ok?
Crissy (PRIVIET!!!!)
Hey J
So you know I know every thing about you and him. And it doesn’t bother me at all ok? Do you hear me? I never thought any less of you two ever! I was sad but never thought less of you two. Crissy your an amazing girl so strong and frikken beautiful! You have so much to offer the world. Really you do. I could see you a few years down the road kicking but working at camp... you have some stuff to learn I’ll admit. But once you got things figured out... you could run camp not even kidding! You know were the kids are coming from and you are smart don’t leave camp ok? God has big plans for you young lady!! Do you hear me? little miss stuburn! Don’t let other people get you down. Love you crissy. One last thing...please please please don’t give your heart/body to any guy but the guy you marry I know it’s hard to ask but it’s so worth it ok? Look at it this way.... when you get married some day and your saying your I do’s.....what if every guy you kissed and had sex with stood up when your husband said I do and they said it to? Do you see what I’m trying to say? You give your heart away to much. To guys you need some girl friends to talk to. Leave the poor guys alone :P
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