So camps over has been for over a week. It’s been a really hard summer the hardest yet, full of scary moments and hard lessons. I'm not sure where this note is going I feel like I have something to say but don't know what it is. Umm... well over the summer God's taught me a lot about trust. He had to bring me to my knees to do this.
When I started getting sick at camp and passing out... I had to trust that my co-cabin leader could handle it when I had to rest. And of course they could because there amazing! I wanted to be with the kids doing my job I hated laying there resting while I could hear arguments break out... and always be solved but I wanted to do it all. I actually felt guilty that I was sick... as if I could control it.
But I got past that and realized I wasn't super woman and actually needed rest and doctors!! *GASP!* lol but that was by far the smallest thing when it came to trust. I learned or am learning that I need people... I can't handle everything on my own. I really learned to open up tell what’s bothering me. Share what’s going on. This may sound small to some of you but is a big big deal to me. I have the thought process of my problems are mine not to weigh down other people. But I've learned that opening up and actually saying what’s on my mind... well it's a much healthier way of dealing with stress then I have in the past a lot less blowing up and a lot less arguments.
but the biggest thing I learned about trust this summer was to trust God trust Him to kick old habits trust Him to do things I don't want to...like this note not really wanting the whole FB world to know what’s going on in my heart... oh small story ok so youth week which is the last week of camp... well any way second night into youth week I had a nice little convo with God and it went something like this....
Me: hey God thanks for this that blah blah blah I want this thank you for that ECT...
God: Krista...
Me: yea God?
God: I want you to tell you testimony to these girls...
Me: ok cool sounds good!
God: you know what I mean the whole thing every part of it.
Me; um....well no I don't really want to I'll tell most of it!
God: your choice but the girls will open up to you more if you tell it.
Me: couldn't I...
God: nope just do it!
so I told my testimony the whole thing....I hated it the whole time I was like don't want them to know these things about me I don't think I looked up once. I just sat there talking fiddling with a box. Turning it over and over. To be honest I don't remember what I said. But when I was done as usual the girls had nothing to say. We went brushed our teeth and went to bed...and I felt like crap I started doubting if I should have done it. If my campers who are also my friends will have any less respect for me. And the next day went normally for the most part Intel about lunch. When God started to pull the string of my camper’s hearts and they began to open up... I spent the last 3 days of camp spending one on one time with the girls. I would have serious talk after serious talk. And again I really don't remember what I said it was all God. The last few days I spent a lot of time crying because every hard thing I've gone thru everything that’s brought me down. Was now bringing down campers around me. And it was hard to see them going thru the things that I did. But I realized that if I would have had some easy breezy life were nothing ever happened I would have had nothing to offer these girls. Doing God’s will always pays off.
well this wasn't were I was going with this but it's where I ended up... so one last thing I was thinking of once a week or so putting up a devo on here people could comment and stuff just a thought...
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